one

the first human to discover fire probably had a terrible day.

a guy named grug was sitting peacefully beside a bush because everybody was named grug back then. the bush probably had an identity crisis and became the sun.

the bush got hot.

the bush got bright.

the bush made angry noises.

grug touched it and invented regret.

books called it "the discovery of fire." it was clearly "the discovery of consequences."

two

the second human to discover fire did not have a much better day.

the first grug pointed at the angry bush as if meaning, "don't touch that." the second grug touched it.

this was "the discovery of idiots," and also "the discovery of the need for a common communication protocol (or language)."

three

a hungry grug once looked at a seed and thought it was dead. he cried over the loss and buried it.

a few months later, he was sad no more. this was "the discovery of agriculture (and happiness)."

four

eventually somebody discovered that the angry bush made cold nights less cold.

this was not "the discovery of warmth." warmth had always existed.

this was "the discovery that consequences occasionally come with benefits."

five

a grug met another grug and a baby grug came to be.

this was "the discovery that benefits occasionally come with consequences."

end

when the old grugs got older, they had to depart. they left for the underground, alone and heavy at heart.

this was "the discovery of tombs (or the original pyramid schemes)," and also "the discovery of endings."