frogs are mighty creatures born of soil that can consume anything from lying microalgae to rival frog babies. if it fits in the mouth and moves, it's on the menu.

when starved, a frog may consider devouring one of its own as righteous. it's when the frog is satiated that the morality kicks in.

picking a fight with a frog with no one on your side is a guaranteed way to invite death into the conversation. death does not like being dragged unnecessarily into events as dumb as these. it's a huge waste of energy; she's conserving energy for a better tomorrow and you should too!

male frogs are nature's croak machines. it takes a rainfall to get them activated and a female frog to appreciate the music they've been rehearsing so persistently. to the rest of the world, it sounds like annoyance, i think.

there was a time i hated the sound. now it's just meh. still beats my sister's, uh, singing. i went through the entirety of "how to tell anyone anything" in one sitting but to no avail. my sister rained tears afterwards and my mother had to come to her rescue, telling me to "shut the [eff] up".

...

yeah, i'm not a fan of this style of parenting, but i'm not allowed to complain.

so, how do you fight a frog? you don't. you just leave them be.

issued in the public interest by the silent orchard.

trivia

q: have you seen microalgae lie?
a: nope? those [effers] lie invisibly.