my tv tells me what i want to hear. it makes me feel included in the debates in which man1 shouts words, man2 counters, woman1 joins in too — and together, they make a lot of noise. there is also an editor in there somewhere who was born a failure and has continued to not improve. (what i have complaints about is non-inclusivity; i couldn't find people from gender3 and gender4 inside it.)

​i do not like talking to people who do not watch the tv as they are ill-informed. the tv is not an idiot's box. i am not an idiot.

​the tv knows i should wear red today. how does it know that circling anti-clockwise 5 times after brushing my teeth for the second time in the morning will help me gain 1000 currency notes and rid the world of its hunger? my tv is simply a genius.

​i love my tv. it is my only companion when my kids leave me home alone and don't talk to me even when i tell them that the sun goes around the earth (the tv taught me that). they call me a liar, but what do they know. they're a bunch of kids. the tv never lies.

​the tv never hurts me. (the people inside it know what's best for me and you.) my kids, though; they are an entirely different breed.

​one of the apps on my tv asked me to leave a play store rating. sorry, bro. i am way too attached to leave her behind.

​my tv told me we all die one day. that's scary, bro. don't tell me. let me and the world believe that i'm non-biological. :sad:

​my tv is an interesting creature. your tv is too.